Bingo Jokes

Laugh online - check out our selection of bingo jokes
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MADGE and Ben were playing *Bingo*. BEN kept looking over MADGE's shoulder saying, you've got that number MADGE, mark it off, you've got that number mark it off. After putting up with this for some time MADGE got annoyed and said, "why don't you do your own bingo card?" BEN replied "I can't it's full"

A man goes to the doctor. The doc checks him over, and says "Sorry mate, but you have yellow 24, a nasty virus, so-called as it turns your blood yellow and you only have 24 hours to live. There's nothing I can do for you - just go home and enjoy your final precious moments on earth."
So back he trudges home to wifey, and breaks the news. Distraught, she asks him to accompany her to bingo that evening so he can experience her idea of a night out, as he's never been there before.
He gets his 1st card, and wins 4 corners - prize £350, and then gets any line and wins £3200. He also calls for a full house - and wins a grand. The national grid comes up and he wins a further £380,000.
The Bingo Caller gets him on stage, and says "Son - I've never seen you in here in all my life, but you won 4 corners, any line, full house & the national grid - I've never met anyone so lucky."
"Lucky??" the man replies, "lucky? I'll have you know I've got yellow 24."
"Dear me," says the bingo caller with a chuckle, "you've won the bloody raffle as well!”

What do vampires play Bingo with?
Stake money!

Bingo Poetry
You love to play bingo
But not every day,
You go to win money
Have a laugh, and a play.
Not everyone is patient
When a number is due
But when you shout house
I’m glad it is you

What do you call a lady addicted to gambling at bingo?
Betty!

The Bingo Prayer
As I lay me down to slumber
All I need is one more number
When to the big game I go
I pray the Lord I yell BINGO

What has lots of little balls and screws old ladies?
A bingo machine!

Evie and Ann go to their local bingo club. It is Ann's first time at playing bingo.
Ann turns to Evie and says "I need a 59 and a 99".
Evie replies "99? The numbers only go up to 90!"
"I know, but the ice cream man comes at 7.30 and I want my flake!" says Ann.

Knock Knock !
Who's there?
Bingo !
Bingo who?
Bingo'ng to come and see you for ages !

How do you make a room full of women swear all at the same time?
Shout Bingo

Betty and Hilda, two friends, went together to play the slot machines at their local Bingo Hall. Each agreed that when her allotted money was gone, she would go to the front of the Bingo Hall and sit on the bench to wait for her friend. Betty quickly lost all of her money and went to sit on the bench. She waited and waited and waited and waited. After what seemed an eternity, she saw Hilda coming toward her carrying a huge sack of coins. "Hey, Betty," said Hilda, "how'd you do?" "Well, Hilda", said Betty, "you see me here on this bench- what do you think? It looks like you hit it big, though." "Oh yeah," said Betty, "did I find a good machine! It's way in the back. I'll show it to you - you can't lose! EVERY TIME YOU PUT IN A DOLLAR FOUR QUARTERS COME OUT!!!"

Betty, Ethel, Sylvia and Percy are sitting at a table at the local Bingo Hall when for the first time in 7 years Percy gets a full house. In the excitement of jumping up and down shouting Bingo, his trousers accidentally fall down, exposing him fully to the startled ladies! Betty and Ethel had a stroke, Sylvia couldnt reach!

BLONDES & BINGO
It was a Ladies Only Night in the All Blonde Bingo Hall. The night had been pretty boring, not one single person had a BINGO all night. The last game was up for grabs, with a huge bingo prize of $3500.00 in the pot.  The game drags on and on, and nearly every blonde in the house had to be on for the big blackout. Finally, G-47 was called, but still no shouts of ?Bingo!? were heard. The frustrated caller finally gets up and throws the Bingo Machine off the stage. All the girls were shocked and the caller says: "I've just called every darn one of these 75 balls out of this machine and nobody has a Bingo? Just what number are you ladies waiting for?" All together, 412 blonde ladies shouted: "FREE SPACE!"

Addicted to bingo?  I only play bingo on days that end in Y

Mary was on the telephone to her friend Joan, complaining about her lazy, good-for-nothing husband. After 20 minutes of this Joan said, ”My husband said I had to choose between him and bingo……. I'm gonna miss him …..!!”

Are you addicted to Bingo?

When looking at signs, you wonder why they are always "yelling" at you.

Bingo Support calls "YOU" for help.

Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL" out loud.

You have called out someone's Bingo Alias while making love to your partner.

You keep begging your friends to register and get an account at the Bingo site you play at so "we can hang out".

You walk into a room, and, finding that it has more than 23 people, you query management regarding the total of the Bingo pots.

You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is asleep just to login and play Bingo.

You turn down the lights & close the blinds so people won't know you're on-line playing bingo again.

You know more about yourBingo friends' daily routines than you do your own spouse's.

You have an identity crisis if someone is using a Bingo alias close to your own.

You go up to people you are attracted to "in real life" and ask them for their Bingo alias.

Although you don't know what they look like, you become insanely jealous of people in the bingo chat room hitting on your cyber-love.

You don't even know what your Bingo cyber-love looks like.

Your spouse now complains of you moving your fingers in your sleep as if typing the word bingo instead of talking.

When someone says, "What did you say?" you reply, "Bingo!"

You would rather tell people that your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much than the truth (online playing Bingo all night).

You change your Bingo alias so much that you have to look at your own Bingo profile to see who you really are.

You go thru"withdrawal" if you are away from the computer and the Bingo Game formore than a few hours.

You wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is get online and play Bingo before you have your first cup of coffee.

Your Bingo relationship online has gone farther than any real one you have had.

You go into labor and you stop to type a special E-mail to let all the Bingo roomies know you're going to be away and how you're feeling.

You marry your Bingo cyber boyfriend/girlfriend and you both sit at your own computers, login to the Bingo game & chat to each other in the Bingo room every night from across the room.

You understand the humor in all of thesejokes because you have committed them yourself!

You bring a bag lunch and a drink tothe computer before logging in to the Bingo Game.

You get up at 2 am to go to the bathroom but turn on the computer instead and log into your online Bingo game.

There is absolutely no interesting chat in any Bingo Chat room & you're really bored.

You go into Bingo withdrawals during dinner.

You spend at least 30 minutes making sure you say goodbye to everyone inthe Bingo chat room.

Your last sexual experience was really just a"Bingo" experience.

You enter the Bingo Chat room & 23 people greet you with {hugs} or *kisses*.

You got your psychiatrist addicted to Bingo too & are now undergoing therapy in private bingo Chat rooms instead of at his office.

You actually enjoy the fact that you are addicted to Bingo.

You meet people from Bingo in public & you have no idea what their real name is, so you call them by their Alias name.

You've even gotten on a plane just to meet your Bingo Roomies face-to-face.

When seeing someone you wish to meet, your second thought is wishing they'd be in the bingo Chat room so you don't have to meetthem in person.

You have a vanity car tag with your Bingo Alias on it.

When meeting a stranger, you ask for their age/sex/location.

You keep telling yourself to Get a Life and try to picture a world without online Bingo.